The Achiever Fever Cure by Claire Booth

Author:Claire Booth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Greystone Books
Published: 2019-01-23T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 6

MESEARCH

“I GOTTA GO to the bathroom,” Chris said. “I’ll be right back.”

It was eight in the morning and we’d just finished packing up the tent. We had camped beside the highway and were ready to begin our multi-day hike in the mountains. The weather was perfect with a bright blue sky and enough breeze that the hike wouldn’t be too hot. Our backpacks sat in the backseat, everything organized and ready for when we arrived at the trailhead.

I was in the passenger seat of Chris’s car. An early morning bathroom break meant a short hike into the woods, and I probably had a good fifteen minutes before he came back. As he headed out, I felt the familiar urge to check my phone, but it was buried deep in my pack so it wouldn’t get wet if it rained. My next thought was to grab my book, but it too was carefully packed. With no phone and no book, I had nothing to do. A mild panic crept up in my stomach—the prospect of boredom loomed. Noticing the feeling, I shifted into observing my thoughts and behaviour. I watched myself glance around the car for something to keep me occupied. Chris had taken the keys so I couldn’t listen to the radio. I opened the glove compartment looking for a pen so I could at least describe how important it seemed to me to fill this empty space. No pen, so I watched myself reach for the car manual. May as well use the time to learn something. A few minutes into reading about the engine light, I put the book down and shook my head. Holy shit. Is this really who I am?

Nothing to do. The promise of it always seems so delicious—lying on a beach or swinging in a hammock with absolutely nothing to do. How many times had I thought or even said aloud, “I can’t wait till I have absolutely nothing to do.” But when those moments presented themselves, like it did on the side of the road before our hike, I got anxious. Having nothing to do felt like idleness, which made me feel lazy, which made me feel guilty. Usually, when I found unplanned time in my day, my first thought was that I’d forgotten to do something. Either way, my belief was that time was there to be filled, not wasted, and this need to feel productive stoked my achiever fever.

My go-to tool to ensure I never felt at loose ends, bored, or lonely is a book. It is the perfect combination of productive entertainment. When I was a kid, I used to bring my clock radio into bed so I could read under the covers. For my honeymoon, I brought a big stack of books with me. The first feature I look for in a purse is that it is big enough to hold a book. When I am in complete despair, it is almost always a book that brings me back to life.

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